Why? or My Immortal
by Isabelle Young-Johnson
Summary: A duel pov song fic set to Evenescence's song My Immortal. Daria and Trent both ponder their feelings for eachother after an awkward moment. Set sometime between Lane Miserables and Fire.


Why?  
  
or "My Immortal"  
by Isabelle Young-Johnson Why? That was the only word her mind could wrap itself around at that moment. Why? Why did I fall for someone like him? Why won't I just let myself fall in love with somebody who might actually see me, really SEE me? Why don't I want to be happy. Oh yeah...that's right...  
I'm so tired of being here  
  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
  
And if you have to leave  
  
I wish that you would just leave  
  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
  
And it won't leave me alone Damnit! Trent thought. Damnit, damnit damnit. She'd seen. Daria had seen. She'd seen him and Monique in his car. It's not like anything was happening, well yes it was. He had to admit that yes, something was happening. Nothing that had never happened before though. Okay, so what was he thinking? Either he liked Daria or he didn't, there was none of this in between "She's really sweet in a girl next door kind of way" stuff. He needed to get this now. Either he liked her or he didn't.  
These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase So why did Daria like him? Damned if I know. That phrase just kept running  
through her head over and over again. Why? That word again. That word- phrase that summed up her entire life. Why did she feel anything? Why did she feel this? Why did she feel this gut-wrenching, heart shredding, mind numbing pain deep in the very pit of her stomach. Deep deep down in a place she couldn't find. Was it hurt that Trent was making out with Monique? No. She knew he'd probably done a lot worse. So maybe it was just the fact that  
he didn't want her. He didn't want her at all. But why?  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have  
  
All of me Why? That was the thought that tormented Trent. Why did he feel this way? That was his little sisters best friend. Sure he knew she had a thing for him. He wasn't THAT oblivious. Wasn't he just indulging her because she was sweet? Wasn't he supposed to have feelings for Monique instead? It's not like he was just completely indulging his libido when Daria saw them-they were getting back together again. It was one of their "on" weeks. So why was he so bothered that Daria had seen? Was he really starting to feel that way?  
You used to captivate me  
  
By your resonating mind  
  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
  
Your face it haunts  
  
My once pleasant dreams  
  
Your voice it chased away  
  
All the sanity in me Daria must have laid that way for hours. Just staring at her bed going over all the things that were wrong with her. She was too short, too plain, too straight up and down. Besides, she was going places. She had her choice of colleges. She would get out of Lawndale. Trent probably would never get out of his parents' basement. She closed her eyes tightly, a few stray tears gathering in her lashes. No, she could do better. She would do better. No more heartbreak. Not over Trent. He'd never noticed her anyway.  
These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase Trent definitely needed to deal with this. He knew, deep down, he knew he had to get her past him. He didn't understand his own feelings well enough to say anything, even if it wouldn't have been completely inappropriate considering their ages. He needed to be able to not feel guilty for doing things he wanted to do. But how?  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have  
  
All of me Daria had done a brilliant job of maintaining her normal stoic exterior. Jane never guessed anything was wrong. Daria couldn't tell Jane about that. Besides, Jane was already to busy with Tom to really notice. She had done such a good job of building over the cracks Trent had made in her foundation that she honestly never noticed the new way Tom was looking at her. She had honestly never seen him that way. Well, at least not until Trent mentioned it...  
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
  
But though you're still with me  
  
I've been alone all along "Monique, I think we need to see other people." This time he meant it. He really did mean it. This particular break up came after a particularly nasty fight involving Monique's tendancy to get a little too chummy with guys at Mystik Spiral gigs. She yelled and swore and then left. Trent knew then that they would never really be together again. But yet even as it occured to him that he'd just ended the only relationship he had with anyone except Jane that had any real depth, he didn't care. His only thoughts really revolved around Daria and her relationship with Tom.  
  
"I just don't get it," he said softly. "I really just don't get it. Not at all." But even as he said that, he knew that what he had said had been the deciding factor.  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have  
  
All of me... But why? 


End file.
